Colin Kaepernick Denies Involvement In Sexual Assault Case

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San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is denying that he has any involvement in a criminal case following an incident in a Miami hotel room. TMZ reported yesterday that Kaepernick is being investigated in connection with an alleged sexual assault.

“The charges made against me in the TMZ story and other stories I’ve seen are completely wrong,” Kaepernick tweeted yesterday. “They make things up about me that never happened.”

Kaepernick didn’t specify what details of the story were inaccurate, though TMZ reports that their source in the Miami police department has changed his story, downgrading the incident from a “sexual assault” to a “suspicious incident.”

Kaepernick followed up his earlier tweet by saying, “I want to thank all the people who have shared their encouraging sentiments. I assure you that your faith is not misplaced.”

The NFL star seems unconcerned with the allegations against him and has been spotted partying at various nightclubs several times since the investigation began.

Specifics about the incident remain scarce but according to TMZ, a woman claims she was naked in a bed with Kaepernick smoking marijuana and she later awoke in a hospital. The nature of her injuries are unknown.

Angelina Jolie Lookalike Forces Deliveryman to Bang Her at Knifepoint, Stabs Him Six Times

Luminita Perijoc, a 31-year old Romanian who prides herself on resembling Angelina Jolie, has been sentenced to four years in prison after stabbing a deliveryman six times.

The incident occurred after she made this same man perform oral sex on her at knifepoint.

According to court documents, the victim (Nicolae Stan) was delivering wine to Perijoc’s apartment when she threatened him with a four-inch blade and prompted him to undress.

She demanded vaginal and oral sex from Stan and, when he was unable to get an erection for a third go-around, she thrust her knife into him six times.

The victim was somehow able to escape to Perijoc’s and call the police from his cell phone.

A judge initially sentenced Perijoc’s to five years behind bars, but the sentence was reduced after she claimed to be on medication at the time of the attack.

“I think she wasn’t used to anyone saying no because she flew into a rage when I declined,” Stan said. “When I refused she attacked me with a knife, and forced me to have sex with her but she still stabbed me.”

Stan is a married father of three and says he understand folks may mock him for turning down someone who (sort of) looks like Angelina Jolie, but…

They don’t understand why I refused her, but they do not know what it is like to have a mad woman yelling at you at knifepoint,” he said. “They look at her, then look at me and laugh. But I think anyone would find it impossible to perform with a knife at their throat, even if they were with Miss Romania.”

We’d have to agree with that statement.

John Winkler, Tosh.0 Production Assistant, Mistakenly Killed by Police

Very sad news out of West Hollywood yesterday:

John Winkler, a 30-year old production assistant on Tosh.0, was shot and killed by police who believed him to be the culprit at a murder scene inside an apartment complex.

According to the L.A. County District Attorney’s Office, deputies were called to the complex amidst reports of a knife attack.

They arrived to find a man running out of his residence, holding a bloody neck would, with Winkler giving chase. Both individuals were headed toward the officers.

Prosecutors say that deputies fired at Winkler, thinking he was the attacker, and killed him on the spot.

“The apartment door suddenly opened and a male victim came rushing out,” read a statement from the LASD. “He was covered in blood and bleeding Translation Services UK profusely from the neck. Simultaneously, victim Winkler ran out of the door, lunging at the back of the fleeing victim. Both ran directly at the deputies.”

It continued:

“Winkler was similar to the description of the suspect and was wearing a black shirt. Believing Winkler was the assailant and the assault was ongoing and he would attack the entry team; three deputies fired their duty weapons at him.”

Friends say Winkler, who moved to California six months ago, heard screaming from the apartment in question and had gone to check on the occupants.

The actual suspect, meanwhile, is now in custody and has been charged with murder, two counts of attempted murder and one count of torture in connection with what allegedly went down inside the building. For any Translation related help, visit Translation Agency UK

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